Today, Jay and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary! Goodness, it seems like just yesterday and a lifetime ago. To say we aren’t the same people we were then would be an understatement. Marriage, parenthood, and life in general have a way of teaching us, changing us, and pruning us into the people we need to be.
We sat down together and wrote this list of 25 things we’ve learned in those 25 years. By no means are we marriage experts, but we are still madly in love and each other’s best friend. These are some things we’ve learned about how to make our marriage work, and we hope they encourage you today.
- There is much truth in the saying, “Patience is a virtue.”
- Allow each other room to enjoy your own activities.
- Enjoy every moment. Some will be amazing, others…won’t. Most will be rather ordinary.
- Everything you are and have belongs to each other.
- Opposites attract, and that’s a good thing. You can cover for each other’s weaknesses with your strengths.
- Always put the other person first. This works only if you BOTH follow it!
- Speak your spouse’s love language, even if it’s not comfortable for you at first.
- Lower your expectations, then lower them again. It’s not about you and what you want!
- Lots of extra grace will be required. Neither of you are perfect.
- Your spouse should always come second in your life, right after God.
- Life will throw you many curveballs. Your response will either draw you closer together or pull you apart.
- Be flexible in EVERYTHING.
- You can’t please everyone, so please your spouse first.
- Learning the art of compromise is SO IMPORTANT!
- You will learn to die to self when you marry, and again after adding each child.
- It isn’t your job to nag your spouse, guilt them, or try to change them. Simply pray for them.
- You are each other’s best cheerleader.
- Keep no secrets. Be honest with each other to a fault.
- Protect each other. Don’t share personal info with others.
- Speak only positive things about your spouse to friends and family.
- Get on the same page in everything. Together you can do anything.
- Be very careful with opposite sex relationships. Include your spouse as much as you can.
- You quickly realize how selfish you actually are when everything is not about you anymore.
- Fight fair. Don’t put your spouse down or hurl insults.
- Keep the past in the past. Forgive and move on.
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